When it comes to personal development many people strive to achieve great things. We are encouraged to do so by popular coaches and motivational speakers. Unfortunately, many people don’t necessarily understand what is driving them to pursue their goals and achievements. Often we focus so much on doing things because we believe this is what gives us value. I also work to help people achieve their highest potential but in an authentic and fulfilling way that supports their happiness.
Are you a perfectionist? Are you never satisfied? Do you believe that these are helpful qualities? I am not sure they are. So often I have said I hold myself to a higher standard or I am hardest on myself. It was not until I reflected on what this meant that I recognised the beliefs behind these habits. If you grew up like me you may have had parents that wanted to encourage you to be better and reach your potential. This may have created a belief that what is most important are the things that you achieve. Without the right type of achievements, you may not feel like you have any value.
It is important to recognise that there is nothing you need to do or achieve to have value or to be worthy. Remember we are not human doings but human beings and there is nothing you need to do to have value. As a young adult, I tried my hand had at being a model, a professional musician and briefly an actor, but these were motivated by external rewards. When I got married and started working my way through the corporate world I was doing what I thought I should do. Titel, salary, and a company car became my motivation. None of these things made me happy but when I did things without trying to prove my value or gain recognition I felt completely fulfilled. For example, my experience as a volunteer basketball coach got me on the road to the coaching I do now and my experience backpacking through Asia gave me a new perspective on the world and life in general. I did these things to not to prove my value but because I was curious.
My motivation for helping people achieve their highest potential is not because I think people need improving. I try not to judge people this way. I encourage people to find their potential in happiness as well as their definition of success. We each have value just by being and if you stop putting so much pressure to achieve and you may find your potential unfolding naturally. Your belief and judgements that create limits are mind-made. When you stop trying to prove your value and pursue your goals based on your curiosity, inspiration and passion it is likely your achievements will feel more satisfying allowing both success and happiness to flow to you more easily.
When I learned to gain my sense of value internally and did not feel the need to prove myself through results and financial gain my success in the corporate world did not decline. I got better at managing people and recognising the needs of customers. The things you achieve in life and the value you try to add to your workplace, your community or the world are all important contributions. However, if you approach life with the assumption that you are valuable independent of your achievements and the things you do you may find that your motivations and the way you interact with others changes. When you know your value you will not need the attention and admiration of others to feel good and fulfilled. You will not need to accumulate wealth and other status symbols to confirm your worthiness. Knowing your value will allow you to live more authentically.