
If I asked you what is most important for you to live a happy life what would you say? It could be good relationships, meaningful work, good health, or the financial means for your desired lifestyle. Regardless of your answer, the success or lack of it, in these or any other areas of your life, will depend to a high degree on your beliefs. What beliefs do you have about relationships? How do you define meaningful work? What you believe about anything will inform your strategies and behaviours.
Do you consider yourself to be a philosopher? For most, the answer would be no. And yet from when we were old enough to think we have been accumulating beliefs about ourselves, life and our place in it. The difference between the average person's beliefs and those of a philosopher is that the philosopher has reflected deeply on what they believe. An awareness of what you believe increases your ability to be in control of your choices and behaviours. Awareness allows change!
One of my approaches to coaching is helping people create a personal philosophy. With a client, I often start by looking at the areas of life they want to change and improve. From there we identify the beliefs they have internalised which are linked to their desired changes. Changing these beliefs changes perspectives, which changes strategies and behaviours, and leads to choices more aligned with a person's needs and values. +
The sources of belief that I find most beneficial to look at are: experience, environment and repetitive thought. The way we interpret our experiences will create beliefs. The people, media and culture that surround us in our environment influence our perceptions as well as our beliefs. The repetitive thoughts we regularly have will create language to articulate our beliefs. The question is: do these beliefs support our success and happiness?
Is there an issue or problem that regularly shows up in your life? What do you believe about that? Is our beliefs about relationships, money, success, and happiness that influence how we pursue these things and the results we get. Some people's beliefs about relationships are informed by romcoms or romance novels. Young people today more than ever have beliefs about sex that come from watching porn. Those who are surrounded by people with poor spending habits will likely have unhelpful beliefs about money.
Remember that life is constantly giving you feedback about your actions and perceptions. When you fail to succeed at certain areas in life see it as feedback about your beliefs, strategies and choices. Becoming aware of your beliefs and then working to change them will have tremendously positive effects on your success and happiness.
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