We live in a world of distractions, which is why this topic often comes up in coaching. All around us people and devices want our attention. There are also endless forms of entertainment, social media and games calling for our attention. Competing with this is the news taunting us with sensational stories of scandal, violence and injustice which we feel compelled to watch to serve our intrinsic need to be aware of lurking dangers. I am not opposed to entertainment and distraction can sometimes be a good thing when we become overwhelmed with negative thoughts. The problem arises when we are already feeling resistance to getting things done while having distractions too readily available to us.
I have written before about homeostasis, which is a term in biology that describes the equilibrium or balance that organisms try to maintain to function optimally. Although the term is not referred to in psychology, the human tendency to establish a comfort zone seems to mimic this biological resistance to change. After all, change has its risks and our biology is risk-averse. Fortunately, we also have a drive for growth, variety and curiosity that makes us restless when we become too stagnant. Unfortunately, this is undermined by all of our distractions.
It is important to recognise the link between our comfort zone and our vulnerability to distraction. People will go to great lengths to remain comfortable. Some will believe lies because the truth is uncomfortable while others will drive around a parking lot that is not full looking for a spot closest to the entrance rather than walking a few steps more. The same is true when you feel resistance to something you want or need to do. It could be exercise, cooking a healthy meal or learning something new. It is the resistance we feel when we need to get something done that we know is good for us, which may be challenging in some way. This resistance is an emotional response and could have its source in any number of beliefs or fears. Perhaps it is self-doubt or a belief that you are lazy by nature. Perhaps it is due to the pressure to succeed.
Finding the source of your resistance is a bigger topic for another day but overcoming your resistance is an exercise in awareness. Our desire for distraction comes from experiencing an emotion that makes us feel uncomfortable. Distraction is the strategy we have learned to deal with feeling uncomfortable and resistance creates discomfort. To overcome this without succumbing to distraction there is a simple solution that I find works for fear and resistance. Most of our fears lurk in the back of our minds or in our periphery. When we look at them head-on most of our fears are not as big or intimidating as one might think. There is a similar approach to dealing with the emotions behind your resistance. Emotions come in waves so when the emotion peaks just sit with it, face it and let its intensity pass. Rather than pushing through your work or giving in to distraction remain neutral and breath until the emotion subsides. Once you begin feeling better get started on what you were avoiding and build on this momentum.
Some recommend giving in to your distractions for brief intervals. This may work for some but often once you give in your brain's reward centre produces dopamine and you reward yourself for doing the opposite of what you wanted to do. This is a bad habit. It is like repeatedly hitting the snooze button. If you focus your attention on what you are feeling and breath through it rather than making distraction a coping mechanism you will build your confidence and resilience. There are also some proactive things you can do to build this strength in willpower. Simply doing little things each day that take you out of your comfort zone. Taking cold showers, for example, has been shown to build confidence. Finally, remember that you can drain your mental resources. Although the depletion of your will power (also called ego depletion) is disputed, decision fatigue is very real. Therefore, your ability to push through and avoid distraction can be doubly draining if you are constantly fighting between the two. Getting into a neutral state until the emotional discomfort subsidies may be your best strategy. Sometimes doing nothing but breathing is the best way to overcome resistance.
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