
Have you ever felt resistance when wanting to try something new or starting something you have wanted to do for a long time? Your resistance may then cause you to do nothing other than distraction. Getting started can be difficult for many of us. So why do we stand in our own way when we know what we say we want could improve our lives? Whenever we sabotage our own future there are several things that could be a work and one of them is the hidden benefit of doing nothing.
Many people think that procrastination is just a bad habit but really it is a stress response. The idea of doing something that makes us uncomfortable or even feels overwhelming is a form of stress. So how do we deal with this stress? We distract ourselves, prioritise other actives and come up with reasons why we cannot do what we intended to do. There are plenty of hidden benefits to this kind of approach. If I don’t try I cannot fail. If I am really successful it could raise people’s expectations of me in the future which creates a lot of pressure so it’s easier to keep things as they are. If my dream is not as good as I thought or I am not that good what I dreamt of doing, what comes next? Better to just keep my goals as a dream in the future so I can just keep talking about chasing it. Perhaps you have guilt about something you did in the past and improving your life would only make you feel more guilty. It may be hard to believe anyone would use any of these reasons as an excuse. It may even sound completely ridiculous but these represent real fears and anxieties that many people are affected by.
If you are struggling to make changes in your life or are having difficulty getting started on a project that could bring you newfound success ask yourself what the benefit is in not pursuing your goals. When the outcome of anything is uncertain it may feel safer to keep things as they are. If you have experienced a negative outcome as a result of success that you had in the past, there may be a part of you that wants to avoid repeating the experience. You may be surprised the connections we make in the unconscious mind that keep us from moving forward in life. And we have accumulated many erroneous beliefs and assumptions about the world that we are not even aware of.
It takes a great deal of self-reflection and inner work to identify our secret fears and notice the hidden benefits of our self-defeating behaviour. This kind of work is best done together with a therapist, counsellor or coach depending on the source of your resistance, but the first step is always to acknowledge that there is a reason for your behaviour. We don’t do certain things or create particular habits for no reason. There is some way we expect to benefit from doing nothing when we want to be doing something. Next time you notice yourself avoiding what you know you want, ask yourself what the benefit may be of not doing it. This will give you some clues as to which unconscious fears, beliefs or assumptions are getting in your way.
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