The little things matter

As a coach, I can be pretty hard on myself when I don’t live up to the advice or recommendations that I sometimes offer to those seeking my counsel. I get frustrated when I develop behaviours that are not in my best interest because I think I should know better. For me the past two months I have not travelled and work has been limited to appointments with clients on video calls. No workshops and travelling around the world; no hectic schedule. Great, I thought to myself, I have worked a lot the past few years so this is a perfect time to slow down and write. But I have struggled to write. More than that, I have had a real slump in my motivation. So I did what I recommend anyone in a similar situation do, I booked some sessions with a coach.

I was feeling like I might need to make a major change in my life. For a while now I have thought about downsizing. In other words, sell everything, take some time off and get a little house on the sea until I finish writing the many book concepts that I have swirling through my head. All these thoughts I talked through with my coach but she took me back to basics. We looked at my core values and some of my daily habits. I admitted to her that I had been taking my laptop to bed with the justification that inspiration could strike before bed, in the morning or the middle of the night. What I was actually doing was watching YouTube videos or listening to podcasts. I was also ignoring the fact that I was exercising and meditating less than I used to. So I committed to leaving my laptop out of my bedroom which helped me sleep better and led me to wake up earlier and start my day with yoga and meditation. And what do you know? I felt like writing again.

In trying to solve our problems or overcome issues we are often looking for some big change that needs to take place to improve our situation. Maybe this is a major psychological shift like some epiphany that you are waiting for or some external change like quitting your job or leaving a relationship. People will look at big things that need to happen to be happy, healthy or wealthy but quite often it is the little changes that can lead to big improvements in your life. We give events or situations great meaning and credit these for shaping who we are but do you want to go through a life-changing event every time you want to change a habit?

When you recognise behaviours that you want to change but can’t it can be approached like any task that seems overwhelming. Break it down into smaller parts. Where behaviours are concerned, it is important to recognise the triggers that lead to behaviour. Avoiding a trigger or redirecting the response to a trigger is usually far easier than changing a behaviour through discipline. The difficult part is often recognising the patterns. In my case, I was doing something that I knew was not great for my ability to sleep well but I ignored the fact that my morning routine of exercise and meditation had been undermined by this new habit of bringing my laptop to bed. Without the deadlines, no high paced schedule and more time than I was used to, it magnified the problem. With just a couple of small changes, my motivation returned in two days. This has been a reminder for me and for anyone reading this that the little things we do regularly make a big difference. Now my only problem is what to talk about in the rest of the coaching sessions that I have booked. ;)