What are you trying to prove?

Greetings from Shanghai!

On my flight to Shanghai this weekend I watched a documentary on Elon Musk. Along with all of his accomplishments, the film contemplated what drives this billionaire to continue to pursue new projects that are so challenging. A psychologist was interviewed and elements of Elon’s childhood were shared. His parent’s divorce and the bullying he experienced in school were mentioned, which caused me to reflected on the many ways we are trying to compensate or overcome some childhood experiences. I have been on a conscious process of personal development for over twenty years so I am quite aware of the things I am still trying to overcome from my childhood.

As a child, during moments of anger or frustration, I was told that I was lazy, worthless and good for nothing. At least that is how I remember it and that is what stuck with me for many years. As a result, I spent a lot of time in a variety of ways trying to prove my own worth to myself and to others. As much as I have become aware of the motivations and strategies developed in the formative years, I still catch myself working too much and spending too little time on personal relationships. As much as I know I am pursuing my vision and love what I do, sometimes I still stop to question what I am trying to prove to myself when I look at my travel schedule and all the projects I have taken on.

What are you trying to prove to yourself? Are you still plagued by a past failure that you are trying to make up for? Do you want to prove that you are smart enough, strong enough or loveable enough? How will you ever prove this? How much is enough? You too are a work in progress and no matter what you may be trying to prove to the world about who you are, you are more likely trying to prove this to yourself. You are good enough and smart enough to have made it through life’s challenges so far and no one can answer the question of your own worth. No one can tell you that you are worthy of being alive so make the assumption that you are.

Proof comes at the end of a project or an experiment.  We evaluate results and determine the success of our endeavours.  Life is a project and an experiment that we are all participating in which none of the living will ever be finished with. If you are looking for proof to contradict what other people say about you or change negative beliefs about yourself you may never find it. I share my own incomplete journey with you because we are all a work in progress. Learn to laugh at yourself and enjoy the growth journey you are on. Trying to prove who you are with evidence from yesterday will keep you living in the past. However, life, much like happiness, is only in the present.