Do you take self-initiated actions or are you mostly reactive? Technically all of our actions are reactions. We react to a thought, a feeling or some impulse to take action. However, I would encourage people to be more aware of those actions that are habitual and those actions that are a response to our present conditions. Awareness allows change and if we are being manipulated by our programming or external influences, we can work to be more conscious of the actions we are taking.
When we see ourselves in relationships and our communication we can be very reactionary. Our partner is in a bad mood and it may put us in a bad mood. Someone makes an accusation and we look to counter by pointing out some fault of theirs. If we can be more aware of what is being triggered within us we will be better positioned to choose our actions consciously. In doing so we will be more in control of our actions and less susceptible to manipulation and outside influences.
One of the ways that I reflect on my choices and actions is to ask myself if I am choosing out of love or out of fear. My fear-based reactions can be in the form of anger, becoming withdrawn, or applying some passive-aggressive tactic. Many of the negative strategies we have internalised are an attempt to mitigate potential outcomes projected by our fear-based beliefs. When we recognise the fear responses in ourselves and others we can be more compassionate and more deliberate about the way we navigate life.
Another approach could be to reflect on the contrast in your actions in particular situations or your behaviour around certain people. How do circumstances or the people around you influence the actions you take? This can help you identify the strategies that are being triggered in you, which lead to the actions or reactions that are observable to others.
Reacting to our emotions or the stimuli around us is normal. It is unreasonable to expect that we should be in complete control of ourselves at all times. Finding healthy ways to release our emotions is an important component of good mental health. Also, any healthy relationship should be able to withstand the occasional negative reaction to an emotionally charged situation, to a certain extent. However, most people are perpetually responding and reacting rather than choosing their own way forward, which can lead them to feel powerless and out of control.
Since happiness is the feedback we get when we live in alignment with our values and deeper needs, a less reactive and more conscious way of living will provide more moments of happiness. This is the benefit of learning to recognise what drives our choices and strategies. Choosing your responses and your actions will give you more control of your life. Conscious choices will help you live in a way that creates more happiness.
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