Life is a matter of moments

A small child is crying, upset about something, but then a parent comes to the rescue with a toy to distract them. Suddenly the world is good again and the cause for stress and upset is in the past. This is the human condition. One minute we may be joyous and the next overcome with anger or sadness. In his novel, Brave New World, Aldous Huxley depicts a world where people take a drug called Soma to help them avoid the discomfort of negative or overwhelming emotions. I imagine this as a very monotone grey world without the contrast of emotional peaks and valleys. Would you want to avoid the moments of contrast in your life?

Every moment comes with emotions and perceptions that can be as fleeting as time itself. These moments represent opportunities for change or learning. In each moment we can perceive something that makes us grateful or hopeful. Unfortunately, many of these opportunities pass us by because our focus is on the past or the future. Most of us are focussed on where we are going or what we can do to reach a certain destination while others are struggling with something in their past that is holding them back. Self-reflection and visions for the future are a good thing but if you find yourself waiting for something or spending most of your time and attention away from the present moment many opportunities will be lost.

When coaching people through problems or challenges that seem insurmountable or cause procrastination on big tasks, I encourage them to break these down into smaller parts. The same is true in life. We can take it moment by moment making small changes or improvements as we go with whatever opportunity the moment provides us. This is more difficult than it sounds because our habits keep us on autopilot reducing our awareness of little opportunities to change. Unfortunately, most of us do not notice the moments, those brief segments of time each offering new ways to perceive the world. Instead, we look back or forward worrying about what we missed or what awaits us in the future. Even when we are present we may focus on dramas or only notice what is missing or what we don’t want. In those moments in time lie hidden gems of love and inspiration, joy and bliss and too often we overlook them as we hurry on unaware or focussed on momentary distractions.

There is also a tendency to avoid or distract ourselves from what we are feeling in any given moment. Some even demand trigger warnings to avoid any kind of discomfort or distress. The challenging moments we face in life are part of our development. It is important to trust that you can overcome any challenge life presents you with. If like me, you are afraid of heights you can avoid any situations that cause you discomfort or you can face them and become stronger for it. When you feel physical pain your body is sending you a signal that something is wrong or needs your attention. The same is true when you feel emotional discomfort. You can spend your life avoiding it or you can face it and try to overcome it. If you avoid, numb or distract yourself instead of dealing with moments that can help you grow and learn something about yourself you will remain stuck and confined by your fears.

When I backpacked through Asia many years ago my way of seeing the world changed. Life slowed down and I was able to see so much beauty everywhere I went. It was perhaps the happiest time of my life even though I also experience challenges and some danger. It’s difficult to live a life like a travelling backpacker when you have responsibilities and routines or schedules to follow but there are things you can do to be more in the moment. Daily meditation helps you hit the reset button on our habitual thinking processes. Taking brief moments in the day for reflection like a walk in nature can bring you back into the moment. Finding ways to regularly enter a flow state for a period during each day can remind you how it feels to be in the moment. And if you notice yourself choosing distraction or shying away from opportunities life’s moments bring you, take a breath and find your courage. Doing things that scare you builds your confidence. To practice this try taking cold showers. Overcoming your avoidance of discomfort will help you embrace all of life’s moments good or difficult. If you can integrate these practices it will allow you to see more opportunities in each moment. It will also help you see beyond the problems in life to the beauty each moment offers.