When I used to coach high school basketball I made a point to tell the boys about how much the success of the game depends on what goes on in your mind. I did this by asking them what the difference was between players like Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant and players who spent most of their time on the bench? After all, in order to just to get on the roster of a professional team in the NBA requires great skill and athleticism. What set them apart was the different in their inner game. It is a difference in mindset, work ethic, determination and beliefs about what is possible. I tried to instill a culture that did not blame referees, team mates, opposing players, luck, or any external conditions for the success of the team or individual players. We focussed on what we could control or change, which were all internal things like habits, attitude, perspective, and mindset.
These principles are not limited to the basketball court. The success or failure that you achieve in life is just a result or consequence of all the things going on inside you. The sense of good luck or bad luck is just the culmination of internal processes that have led you to outcomes that you like or dislike. You follow impulses and make decisions that lead you where you are now and if you are unhappy with that then look within. Blaming the outside world is a futile act. You cannot control the outside world but you can change yourself. Begin by looking at what is driving your internal impulses and limiting your potential.
The coaching work I do in the area of personal development looks closely at beliefs and how they affect the choices, habits and perspectives of those who I work with. Although this type of work is made much easier through the help of a coach there are self reflection practices that can help you gain more control of your level of success. What kind of language are you using both internally and externally? The words we use reflect a great deal about our beliefs. Are you making excuses? Are you embracing the victim role? What thoughts or situations trigger behaviour that you want to change? Awareness is the first step toward change. The power to succeed comes from within so why do so many people blame their problems on the outside world? Finding solutions and the ability to choose them is an inside job. Once you recognise this you will control your destiny.
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