The older we get the more entrenched our habits become. Dr. Joe Dispenza tells us that by age 35 more than 80% of our behaviours are driven by habits. Habits can be good or even essential in driving behaviours that lead to success and happiness. If however, we recognize habits in us that do not serve us and we resist change, then we may be in our comfort zone.
The familiar is comfortable and makes us feel safe and secure. As we get older some of us find it more and more difficult to try new things and break out of old patterns. We even have a belief that affirms this summarized in the old adage you can't teach an old dog new tricks. A dog trainer will likely tell you this is a myth. It is also not true about humans. If we regularly challenge ourselves the neuroplasticity of the brain will allow us to create new neural pathways and with this new thoughts and behaviours.
When we recognize that we are stuck in a comfort zone our impulse may be to do something drastically different. This is often driven by some uncomfortable feeling when we realize life is passing us by and we're getting older. Or it may be an intuition that tells us we need to be doing something else with our lives. Regardless of the trigger, the impulse to do something drastic only works for the few who are extremely determined and have a great deal of perseverance. Jumping too far out of your comfort zone in the form of a drastic life change can cause you to be confronted with many fears. As a result, many will return to their comfort zone, tell themselves they tried but failed, and resign themselves to a comfortable life that does not fulfil their true potential.
My recommendation for people who come to me to initiate change in their lives is to take things in manageable steps. Take yourself to the edge of your comfort zone and see how that feels. If you're unhappy in your relationship maybe a divorce or a sudden breakup isn't the right first step. If you're unhappy in your career maybe quitting your job immediately without a plan isn't the best option. If you've been stuck for a while it may feel like a drastic move will force you to make a change but for many, this is a recipe for failure.
Approach change with curiosity and view it as an experiment. As you explore and try new things, your comfort zone will expand. Learning new skills will boost your competence and confidence, helping you avoid feelings of overwhelm and fear.
If you’re unhappy and feel the need for change, listen to that voice. However, pace yourself sustainably. Push your boundaries to recognize your potential, but avoid jumping in without careful consideration. Embrace the journey, find patience, and if you find happiness along the way, you’ll know you’re on the right track.
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