Who is in Control?

There are those who feel powerless, with no sense of control in their lives. While others think they can control most things. Which one are you? If you chose one or the other you are probably wrong.  Knowing what you can control and what to let go of is a skill. Perhaps the most notable teacher of this skill was the Greek philosopher Epictetus.  He believed the only thing you can really gain control of is your mind. 

I find the best way to gain more control and empower ourselves is through a higher level of awareness. Again my long-standing coaching motto is: awareness allows change.  It is a level of awareness that helps us recognise what affects or has some manner of influence over our experience in life. This begins with some profound questions such as: who am I? and what do I want?  To help more generally answer these questions I have an approach that I find helpful.

Looking at yourself from three perspectives of experience is something I have found extremely helpful in understanding myself and gaining more control of my life.  These three perspectives are the physical, the mental, and the spiritual or emotional.  Our physical bodies influence our experience in so many ways from the hormones we produce to whether or not we are hungry. An awareness of how your physical state is influencing your mood and your perception gives you more control to change your situation. 

The mental experience is the one that Epictetus encourages us to take control of by recognising the power we have over our minds and choosing the thoughts we give attention to.  In addition to this, we can be aware of the influences that inform our beliefs and thinking habits. This can include the agendas of the people around us, the marketing initiatives we are regularly exposed to, and the narratives governments and corporations use to manufacture consent around a wide range of issues.  It’s not easy to digest the overload of information we are confronted with, but it is helpful to be discerning and recognise that there are biases and intentions behind every form of communication we receive.  

What I refer to as the spiritual some may prefer to recognise as the emotional experience.  What we feel is such an underrated form of communication.  Our emotional response to what we feel can tell us a great deal about unresolved issues or even trauma, unmet needs of our psyche, or the intuitive guidance that can help us know what we really want.  Emotions show us the fears we need to address or the fulfilment we can pursue to gain more satisfaction from life. This is perhaps the most important part of you to be more aware of to improve your happiness. 

Are you any closer to understanding what you control and what controls you?  Physically we can develop habits or even addictions that we give our control to. Or we can recognise what we can take control of to have the best physical experience possible. Mentally we can choose what to focus on and what influences to expose ourselves to or we can be pulled by the currents of the internal processes and external influences that try to control us. Our emotional guidance can feed our awareness to better understand ourselves.  So to better empower yourself become more aware and use this understanding to take control of what you can change.